[	Current Mood	|	awake	]
[	Current Music	|	That Smell - Synyrd	]

Whiskey bottles and brand new cars;
oak tree you're in my way.
There's too much coke and too much smoke
Look what's going on inside you.

CHORUS-
Ooh, ooh that smell
Can't you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of death surrounds you.

Yeah.
Angel of darkness is upon you.
Stuck a needle in your arm (you, fool, you)
So take another toke, have a blow for your nose,
one more drink, fool, would drown you. (hell, yeah)

CHORUS

Now they call you prince charming.
Can't speak a word when you're full of 'ludes.
Say you'll be alright come tomorrow, but
tomorrow might not be here for you. (yeah, you)

CHORUS

Aw, you, fool, you.
You stick them needles in your arm
I know I been there before.

One little problem that confronts you,
got a monkey on your back.
Just one more fix, Lord, might do the trick.
One hell of a price for you to get your kicks. (hell, yeah)

CHORUS 2x

Oh, you, fool, you
Don't stick those needles in your arm.
You're just a fool, just a fool, just a fool.

[

Current Mood

|

anxious

]

I have a song and stuff.  Well, we have a song. Of course”we" is a very vague explanation, as it is meant to be. So as of now your going to have to deal because im difficult, more so this moment that usual, so bear with me as I drag you through the midst of my stubborn self.

So, I’ve been kind of slacking with the photography and it really is disappointing.  I have all these things I wish to achieve, but am unable to do so while in this "current situation". ..Once again with the vagueness...  The current situation I refer to is one of many current situations that have had my mind in an up-roar. I don’t think I’ve ever been so lethargic in my entire life. At least not for such a long span of time.  I’m trying to look forward as it seams it is only then that i feel hope. My future before was something that could only be accomplish with an array of streets and paths to follow and mark if i where ever to be something of any great consequence. Though, most people find themselves doing the same thing, it scares me. I have been terrified of becoming just another space monkey. They train you, you pull a lever, push a button, you don’t understand any of it, and then you die. I see most people become this, even some of my friends who went into the "business world" only months ago. I can see it happening ever so slightly. It’s terrifying. Though, I know I can’t just sit here and peak out at the world because im scared. Mind you, I don’t plan to do that. I have a future that I really do for once in a long time am honestly looking forward to. It will take a lot of work but im willing to work and so much more to achieve what needs to happen to get where I want to go.  ...im being o so vague again I know... but the truth is, if you know me you know what all this vague non sense is about.

I just have to keep my pessimisms on the outer bounds.
My negativity is not welcome.  

[	Current Mood	|	apathetic	]
[	Current Music	|	TooL : H	]

So everyone all the sudden seems to have gotten the impression that i suddenly care.

Let me clear this up then.

It is still no ones business as to whether im "better" or not.  Does it truly matter? I know i tend to disappear and that some of the people i know tend to worry. But you should know by now, I’m as okay as I can be. You need to understand, if i didn’t get my time to just be alone, I would then be rather unstable.  By now, you should know im not a big fan of people, i am not a big people kind of person and i am definitely not any kind of social butterfly. So i try to take a break from people. Its nothing against you really, just i am who i am and i can only tolerate so much.
 

-k.mae 

P.S. New journal. Im sure you noticed considering you wouldn’t be reading this if you didn’t know.  And its self explanatory but just so it’s embedded in writing, don’t give away its whereabouts. I made a new one for a reason.  

[

Current Mood

|

chipper

]

Is it obvious?

The hatred you can now see so clearly.

The pain churning in this drastic pattern.

With clenched fists and a hardened heart,

It looks back at you.

(Can you see it?)

The vessel the same as before

Is it obvious?

This hatred dwelling within it eyes for you.

It consumes as it burns into what has been left of you

Branding a mark upon your memory.

Bring yourself to look at it

And feel…

It looking back.

Can you feel it’s obvious?

As you stare into the depths of it’s obvious.

Now understand…

Saving what lies outside.

Killing the obvious (you idiot)

You killed it all the fuck away.

And here we are…

You’ve killed yourself.

You recognize this vessel,

But in its eyes

There lies something you never quite noticed before.

Can you embrace the obvious?

Consider it’s obvious?

Feel it deep inside you,

Bleeding you from your insides out.

Feel it breathing within your skin,

This hatred destroying your hopes for what might have been.

With every action there comes a price to be paid.

This tole due to be collected today.

The hatred due to finish you,

Blinding you of what was never really there.

Leaving you abandoned and crippled to all your beliefs.

Ripping into what has been left behind.

Ripping you through faded memories,

Still lingering in its mind.

Forcing you to realize, breaking you to see.

Blood draining from what was you,

Do you see?

See it’s bloody obvious?

See it and fucking believe?

Now consider and see the vessel in which you conceived.

Breath into dank reason, understand.

Know what it is to feel,

To embrace, to understand

What lies within it’s obvious.